An Apology of Sorts

An apology isnt necessary. But I feel like I owe it to you.

You see, I am human. And I evolve and I choose to learn and grow and try again (do you do the same? make those same choices?). And sometimes I think i dont do a great job of gathering my thoughts- pausing to consider how they are best articulated- then sharing them with you.

I have been very transparent about my own personal fitness journey the last few months. I focused on getting strong and gaining muscle- but if i am being honest, it was all mostly for aesthetic purposes. I worked with a coach specifically for an aesthetic focused strength program.

And to be clear, to change your shape, you need to grow your muscles. So during this time, I lifted heavy and hard but it wasnt to get strong.

SPOILER ALERT: While i was trying to change my shape, i got strong.

It wasnt until recently I started to actually notice more of my strength. My olympic lifting was still pretty decent. I could still do CrossFit gymnastics skills with ease- arguably more ease than Ive been able to do in a very long time. My runs didnt leave my legs feeling like they were going to explode. I could hang on metcons, negative splitting intervals or having a decent score against someone who is consistently in the crossfit gym.

And then it hit me:

THIS IS HOW BODIES WILL CHANGE IN A SUSTAINABLE WAY. And while I may not have realized I was doing it- my actions were 100% in alignment with this:

if we want to change our shape, we need to focus on being the fittest, strongest, healthiest version of ourselves. move your body with the purpose of performance, thats the secret.

I started talking more about body focus, because thats where my head was.

But the more i talked about it, the more thigns were shifting and i wasnt even aware of it.

I would say “build muscle to change your shape” then i would work on building muscle to deadlift 265 x 8 reps- very much a performance goal, right?

I would encourage you to lift at tempo, near failure and push yourself- all to change your shape. Then I found myself doing that with the intent of growing my back squat numbers.

My words didnt necessarily align with my actions. But it wasnt intentional.

One of my three pillars of coaching is intention (awareness, intention, action).

I PREACH about an intentional plan, path, action- yet I was DOING and not being intentional about the why.

So I share these words with you today to tell you-


On a whim, during a bout of insomnia, i signed up for a marathon.

I have 9 short weeks to get in marathon shape, and lets be real, im not starting with much of a running base.

I am taking a “lets see” approach.

Experimenting, truly for the first time, what it means to be a hybrid athlete chasing big goals.

I will be testing out time on feet vs mileage training.

I will pay attention to my heart rate.

I will focus on recovering, eating to recover but also- heres the kicker- not in a surplus rather simply in maintenance (which is new to me during run training- i always eat in a surplus because #shehungry, and i always gain weight).

So, im sorry if i made you believe you need to change your shape by simply focusing on that.

Im sorry if i didnt put enough emphasis on getting strong and doing cool shit with your body.

I am changing the narrative, being intentional with my message.

I challenge you to change the narrative, and be intentional with your fitness.


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Hey I’m Gaylemarie

I am a former competitive athlete turned mom on a mission. After years of running, crossfit and having a healthy relationship with food, I had a kid and everything changed (as it often does)! Learning to embrace my changing season has been a game changer and sharing that secret sauce with YOU is my mission.

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