Flow

Something my friend Mary (over at @the.new.mom.therapist)and I talk about a lot is finding flow.  This can be applied to fitness, nutrition, life and especially motherhood.

You know, some days just feel easy and the others there’s just a TON of resistance.  How do you find that state of flow? What looks different on the flow days vs the days that are just…not?

Travling with a kid can sometimes be the ultimate force of flow.  Naps, meals, screen time….how we manage this at home sometimes looks the complete opposite than how we manage it on the road.

Heading into the last trip I said “if he naps, he naps, im going to roll with it”.  We entered the trip with me knowing well enough that he sometimes fights nap at home AND he doesn’t sleep well in general when he isn’t home.  Fighting naps, fighting bedtime, middle of the night wakings and early mornings.  So, I wanted to FLOW with a nap schedule.

INSERT CONTROL ISSUES HERE

The second I wanted to control the situation (specifically naps) it all went to hell.  In the best interest of Wylder, he was tired and needed rest, so I figured “lets just try and get a nap”. And inevitably he didn’t nap, I got frustrated and was in a crabby mood.  Why?

I was frustrated he wouldn’t rest when he clearly needed it but more so at myself for not just flowing like I had intended, for trying to control the situation and then getting mad when I couldn’t have that control I wanted.

Same goes for screen time.  We dont do much screen time at home just because its not something thats a big part of our lives.  On the road, in a plane, when we are desperate, trash truck is our bestie.  I dont love it, Wylder’s mood definitely changes and it takes a few days of “detox”. But, it happens and lets be honest, he’s 2, he wants to just chill and watch tv sometimes.  So, the iPad is an important travel accessory.

I have come to learn, practice (still, daily) and working on accepting that flow isnt always going to be there. Sometimes we need to accept the flow looks like missing naps and using screens. That those days that are magical butterflies and unicorns will happen, but to CREATE flow (specifically in motherhood) we need to bend a bit, we are not in control of what the flow actually looks like.

Flow is found in the surrender.

They will sleep when they are hungry. 

They will nap when they are tired.

Flow is found in the surrender. Flow is found in accepting and remembering, nothing lasts forever.