Appreciating where you are when looking back on life – those hard moments brought you to where you are now. Walking with Kilo this morning I had a moment of appreciation & sadness. Appreciation for everything this dog‘s been through with me. Sadness because I know he’s getting older.
I’m in the best space in my life, better than I’ve ever been. But my journey with Kilo started crying on the floor of a ratty ass, dirty ass, apartment. I had just broken up with a guy, gotten out of a really toxic and terrible relationship, sold a business I poured everything into, I was riddled with guilt and shame, and felt like I had hit rock bottom. And truthfully, I did.
Fast forward a few years and I was enjoying time being single. I had moved, I had made new friends, I had found a new sense of confidence. But none of that would have happened without those struggles. I needed to hit that rock-bottom, I needed to fail, I needed to feel like a failure, I needed to be challenged and pushed in order to find my resiliency, strength, and confidence.
No matter where you are in life, this applies to you. Being a new mom- shit gets hard. Sleepless nights, breast-feeding struggles, formula or breast, learning this new human, your new body, your new life. Or if you’re in a space of struggling with your body, after a few hard years with the pandemic and now all of a sudden you have to rebuild yourself.
No matter what your struggle is you always have a choice. You can choose to let that struggle define you, or you can keep taking one more step. Because that’s how I got to where I am now. One more step. Metaphorically and literally. Every day we would spend hours in the woods. I would drive giving Nutrition lectures at gym all over Eastern PA, often getting up at 3 in the morning to drive an hour and a half to two hours. I would come home mid day to take care of my dog and then go back in the evening and do it all over again. But the times I wasn’t driving, the times I wasn’t educating Crossfit affiliates on nutrition, I was pouring into things that I loved, pouring into myself. I worked out hard, I ate really good food, I built myself up and focused on me and my dog.
As a mom your focus has to be on your kid. I get it. But that doesn’t mean you are left in the dust. You can focus on the small things, the small habits that make you feel better. Daily minimum’s, daily non-negotiables that no matter how little sleep you got, how much you feel like crap, you can accomplish SOMETHING. Feeding yourself three times a day. Drinking enough water. Going for a walk even if it is only two minutes with a crying baby. Those daily minimums help you feel like you’re winning the day. And that’s what it’s about. One day one day at a time, one hour and a time, one choice at a time.
So now, after I spent a morning on client calls, my son happily in daycare, with a weekend of trail running and family time ahead of me, I take a walk in the woods with my elderly dog and appreciate those hard moments. Appreciating the spot where I felt like life would never be the same again, appreciating long nights with a sleepless newborn, appreciating the 3 AM wake up calls with a one-year-old who apparently hated sleep. Everything changes, nothing stays the same, and when you get to the spot where you can finally look back and say man, I made it, I did that, nothing feels better.
Especially when you have an old gray dog by your side.