Processing Permission.

All week I planned a solo morning bike ride. I was so hyped for it, literally all week.

Then- this morning, I wake up and I just don’t feel it.

I’m tired. I’m emotional. My body is tired. I got my period last night. It’s just not there.

I find myself struggle, looking for permission to take the time off, to honor my body, to pivot plans. I didn’t always need permission. What shifted?

Was it the hustle culture? Work harder to reach your goals. Grind. The “No days off” mentality?

Was it because I lived that way for so long? And also- it worked for me. Sports. Business. It was always things I love and I’m passionate about. Right….?

But heres the thing… now I love and I’m passionate about my family. And incredibly passionate about leading by example for other women. We need down time. We need slow. Yes, we need to work hard but we also need to find that balance…. no…that harmony between the two. Harmony of push and pull, grit and grace. And this is new. I have alway been able to accomplish what I want with the push, through the work. And it was the kind of work that was sweaty, exhilarating, long, tough.

This work is not that.

That’s it. I figured it out. For me. Maybe for you.

I dont know how to do this work. Do you?

This work is slow, patient, calm, quiet. How do we do that? How do we honor and value what once was (the physcially hard, heavy, sweaty). But also learn to apply that same kind of worth ethic to a completely different type of work?

Is that our problem? We dont know how to receive, how to slow, how to give ourselves permission because before, in a previous life or time, the permission was to do something HARD. And we physically felt that hard. It was exhausting- mentally, emotionally and physically. And that felt good. That felt accomplished.

But this kind of hard, it’s mental and emotional but for completely different reasons. Where is the feeling of accomplishment after an easy walk in the woods, an unplanned day off, asking for extra help and taking a slow morning to yourself? The pride you feel from being tired, from having pushed and fought and really stretched yourself to the limit is dramatically different than the work that slowing down, staying present and leading with self love & kindness leaves you with.

I want to say that I don’t know the answer. But I think I do. and I think you do, too.

The answer is in doing the work more often. The answer is found in turning inward, acknowledging that you are doing hard work, but this time it feels different because it IS different.

I mean, we can keep pushing. We can keep looking for the kind of hard we are used to, the kind of hard that got us to where we are now, the kind of hard that we value and makes us feel proud. There is nothing wrong with that.

But, if you are like me, we are evolving and changing and trying to learn new things, show up differently in our worlds. And that new, that requires a new approach, a new mindset and a shift. You want to shift, you need to shift.

Shift the narrative. There is toughness found in giving yourself grace, because it sure as heck isn’t always the easy answer. There is grind in found in giving yourself permission to slow down. There is grit found in saying “i need help” or “i need to do things differently.”

And also- you no longer need to always choose the tough, the grit and the grind. This new version of you can be both- full of grit and equal amounts of grace.

There, it’s yours, the permission you need to be both, and.

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Hey I’m Gaylemarie

I am a former competitive athlete turned mom on a mission. After years of running, crossfit and having a healthy relationship with food, I had a kid and everything changed (as it often does)! Learning to embrace my changing season has been a game changer and sharing that secret sauce with YOU is my mission.

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